Saturday, July 23

gertrude the lucky flamingo.

oh my have these last couple of months been busy! i know i say that every time i come back to blog and it's so annoying because every blogger who comes back from a hiatus says that and how annoying it is... and they also address how annoying it is all bloggers do it and guys lemme tell ya.. it's annoying. 

so as most of you know (maybe.. i don't really know what ya'll know anymore, but if you follow me on insta theeen) my mom is deep into her 3rd deployment. yea third. she's a freakin' badass and that's all there is to it. 

but she has a secret. and that secret comes in the form of plastic. and she's a real beauty. at least she used to be.. she's lost an eye, her pink fluthers are fading, and she has lost both of her legs. i mean, she's been to w a r all 3 times with my mom. but she's the good luck charm that every soldier needs. 

she's earned her stripes. and who says drawn on stripes and ones presented to you "officially" have any different meaning? pffft! buncha hokey if you ask gertrude. 

now all she needs to do is get my mama and her pink bum home safely! which she will caaaause she's no slacker. her good luck magic isn't handed to her on a silver platter. and neither is our freedom. thank a soldier!

anyone have any loved ones deployed right now? or ever?
did they have good luck charms?
do you have good luck charms?

 photo EmilySignature_zps0043f664.png

Monday, May 2

how to customize & center post footer details

hola! happy may! okay so it's been awhile since i've done a design tutorial post, huh? i recently stopped helping with custom blog work because it was getting really overwhelming. some people were really fun to work with, others not so much. and when they'd argue with me about prices (to which i'd say well i can send you the link to a tutorial and you can do it if you want.. they wouldn't) or sometimes it felt like they were breathing down my neck.. gah! i guess that's not my calling. to those of you who allowed me to help create your online space special, thank you! and to the sweet girl who i had to hand off to someone else because my life was like dlf;adgha;fihal;skjriehgn!!! i'm really sorry. i hope you got everything you wanted!

so here we are. and here i am only because i've been helping my sister redo her blog and while in the middle of it i was fixing the post footer stuff and i thought, this is something that people might want to know. at least i hope it is haha. sometimes my mind gets excited over simple things and i want to share with the world and the world is like NO. okay lets get started.

your post footer details << not even sure that's the legit name for them, are like your comments, 'posted by', date & time, labels, etc.. and in blogger templates they are always defaulted to the left. and the font is small and boring. and when i was helping with blogs, i'd always ask my clients if they wanted that fixed and most said yes. i had like 2 say no. so i guess it's not boring to some ha.

how to fix this is really easy. especially because i'm not going to make you go into your template html and fiddle with it there, we'll just integrate everything into your css. woot woot! 

head to your blogger dashboard >> template >> customize

once you're in your blogger template designer go to advanced >> add css

once you've got your css open, copy and paste the code below into it. then press enter.

you'll notice that once you press enter, things change. the comment section is automatically moved to center, there is a center separation line "border", and the font is changed. 

now.. to change the font, you need to replace the font-family: 'Satisfy', cursive; with your font. (to find your css code for this, go to google fonts >> find a font >> copy the css code and replace. easy! if you need more information about this go to this post)

yea so the highlighted section is where you want to put your own font. the rest of the stuff is also game to customize as you please! play with it and see what you can come up with. you can change the font, the size, the border at the bottom, padding, the color from the color wheel here.. tip: if you want to change the border type, use either solid, dotted, dashed or none

as always, hit apply to blog and you're done!

if you have any questions, email me and i will be more than happy to help you out!

 photo EmilySignature_zps0043f664.png

Thursday, April 21

why are we mom jerks to each other?

why are moms always trying to make other moms feel bad about how they are as people?
how often do we see articles and posts circulating around facebook and blogs and pinterest written by moms who have a thing or two to say? too often. pretty much you come across a new one every week. but they circulate so fast because moms can relate! i see a lot of "needed THIS today!!" or "she said exactly what i was thinking!!" shares with popular blog posts about moms basically judging other moms in defense of their post that was, also, a judgement on mothers.
like you've got a lady that's over here telling you to put your iphone down because basically your kid and the whole world is judging you about how bad you suck. and then here comes a super mom saying if you want to be on an iphone it's fine because you're probably working, right?! clearly she's the mom on the iphone "working"... haha i kid i kid. i work on my iphone, too. it's called snapchat.

and then you have a mom writing a post about how, in a nutshell, she's lazy and hates cleaning. but twists it into you can't have a clean house and happy kids because that's just impossible. like, impossible. how do you make memories when you're vacuuming?! the answer is simple, you don't. but here comes another super mom defending all the clean freaks out there with her own post about how just because her house is spotless doesn't mean her kids aren't unhappy. she's only happy knowing that her toilet is clean, what's so bad about that? and btw, sometimes she lets her kids go crazy. like letting them sit on the couch. or letting them help make cookies and not cleaning up drizzle until after the cookies are in the oven instead of following them around with a rag. memories.

and then posts about formula vs breastfeeding. or vaginal birthing vs cesarean. or public schooling vs home school. or organic vs non-organic. or helicopter parenting. or raising your kid vegan. or stay at home parenting vs working parents. cloth diapers vs disposable diapers. co-sleeping vs not co-sleeping. or god forbid the dreaded vaccination vs anti-vaccination. 

moms (dads i'm not forgetting you, your time is coming) are always going to assume that whatever is best for their child, is best for yours too. they will always throw in their 2 cents, whether it's to your face while at the grocery store or online behind their computers. sometimes with honest and good intentions. but most times they're just being assholes because obviously they think your parenting is less than acceptable. and not just your parenting, but who you are as a person. like tattoo moms (holler). how are we going to teach our children morals when we have none? or moms with piercings (holler!). is that the kind of example we want to set for our sweet, beautiful, innocent babies? we have no respect for our bodies, so they won't either. or moms that occasionally let their kids have cake for breakfast (hollerrr) cause you're not in the mood to argue about why they freakin' can't have cake for breakfast. like, wow. you should be educated about diabetes because that's so unhealthy.

|| side note: i hate when someone tells you to "educate yourself" and "do some research". you know what trashy and classless phrase comes to mind when i hear that? ... fuck you... which wouldn't go well with the internet know-it-alls but that's what i'm thinking. end side note ||

you know those articles. i know you've at least come across one or two of them. and i know you've related and/or shared them somewhere on social media. 

but you know what? we don't need this. none of us need this. the one thing we all have in common is we are all MOTHERS. we are mom, mama, mum, mommy. we all started off with a baby that we had absolutely no clue what to do with. but eventually we all found our own special way to care for it. we're a team! we shouldn't criticize because of our sub-categories, we should be praising them.

my friends know i'm not the nicest person.. i'm a bit of an asshole sometimes. or all the time i don't know. so what i'm saying is, is i can be better at what i'm preaching. and if i can do it, so can you.
i have a hard time going into a spotless house and saying something positive tho.. i usually spat out what do you do with your life besides clean? is this why your kids hate you? because that's not nice and i doubt all of their kids hate them. 

so. moral of this post.. be nice to each other. please shut up with all the "dear mom on the iphone" bullshit. it's degrading and mean and you're being an asshole. be on your iphone, don't be on your iphone. vax, don't vax. let your kid eat off the floor or don't. it's nobody else's business and you damn well don't need clarification from a stranger.

disclaimer: i know i sound like one, but i am not a therapist. this advice is free. actually it's not advice, it's just ramble because i'm not a hypocrite.

 photo EmilySignature_zps0043f664.png

Monday, April 11

Saturday, April 9

life lately.

laker games. jazz games. easter. pizza picnics in this warm spring weather. baby girl is mobile and starting to make messes. date nights. dinosaur museum 6346 times a week. high school bestie get together. by the way, anyone feel like hs was like last year? shit time flies.

what has your life been like lately?

 photo EmilySignature_zps0043f664.png

Sunday, March 13

what's making my life good right now.

one. presidential primaries. if you know me at all then you know how much i love my reality tv. campaign speeches, republican & democratic debates, interviews.. it's all my level of reality. and i get a sick thrill when grown men (and women) who want george washington's job, leader of the free world, are up on a stage bickering back and forth at each other like an episode of real housewives. that is my shit, people.

two.  homemade baby puree. i've been doing carrots, avacado, banana, sweet potato, and peas. and for some weird reason i actually enjoy it. i mean i had every intention of pureeing my own baby food when drey was born, but then buying it was just like wayyyy easier. but this second time around, it's fun for me! not my style at all tho... mom if you're reading this send help.

three. zucchini. i've been craving and eating it like crazy! and no i'm pregnant.. my taste buds have just caught up with my age and i'm starting to enjoy grown-up food. like onions. ewwww i say i hate them but when i'm cooking i throw them in with everything. so weird. again, mom if you're reading this send help

four. how to get away with murder. i wish i was a show writer and could write badass shows that people go crazy about and want more and more and more and you have control over the minds of prob hundreds of thousands of people and one character death or one unexplained twist will make all those people lose their freakin shit. and then there is an online apocalypse about WTF JUST HAPPENED. cause that's me with this show and i don't like that i'm being controlled right now. did any of that make sense?

five. my blue-eyed baby. she is perfect in every sense of the word. i mean yea, she's got her days that make me want to pull my hair out.. but let's be honest, if i was going to pull all of my hair for anyone, it would be her.

six. being a 'social media manager' for my brothers' photography sites. it was just handed to me so i haven't been doing a very good job yet, but i have some good ideas rollin' through me and i can't wait to apply them. but the title makes me feel important. like i was given a promotion in life haha. 

seven. my hippie chapstick handmade by my sister. it's so so good. and i'm not just saying that because she's my sister.. i could not give AF, kay? i'm saying it cause i seriously love it. if you're a chapstick lover, maybe some samples and a review could be in order.... eh eh.

eight. garlands. fabric, tassel, banner, sticks.. i don't care. i'm obsessed with garlands. i have them everywhere. like every room in the house at least has one. 

nine. hearing my babies laugh together. ahhh it's too good. drey is the best big brother i'm sure any little girl could ask for. and he's also the best helper any mom could wish for! sooo if anyone is wondering.. yes a 5 year gap is GREAT. 

what's making your life good right now?
do you keep up with the primaries and such? 
raise your hand if you need a traveling photographer...

 photo EmilySignature_zps0043f664.png

Friday, February 26

it's never too late to post about our christmas party at dugway

awhile back.. like way back in december, my mom invited us to her work christmas party out in dugway. if you non-utahns don't know where or what that is, it's basically the area 51 utah style. you know like where they keep the aliens and stuff. or where they "don't" keep the aliens...... shh.

anyways so yea it was a blast. they had lots of games, activities for kids, rock climbing, food, dessert, santa showed up on a firetruck, tyler and i both won prizes! he won a raffle, but i won the 'best santa hat' contest. sooo take that boyfriend. then we played the whip cream game where you turned the little thingy and it might flip up at your face and it might not. that had my anxiety on lockdown, shiz. if you follow me on snapchat || eemilyosbornee || then you probably remember that day cause my story never stopped haha. 

so there you have it. christmas in february. 
anyone have any fun adventures and never blogged about? do tell.

 photo EmilySignature_zps0043f664.png