my biggest mom mistake

We're all guilty of being less than awesome moms at times, let's be straight up here. We can pretend all we want on our sites and social media, but we know. We all know. And that's okay! I mean, why do we have to pretend like we've got our shiz together allll the time? I've tried and it's exhausting. It's more exhausting pretending to be not exhausted from doing nothing but saying I've done everything. Wait..what? 

My biggest mom mistake to date is comparing myself to other moms on social media. On the surface, I'm like wow I want to be her! She always looks pretty, her kids always seem so happy, and those rugs! I want those rugs, too. What's a girl like me gotta do to have a $2500 rug in her hallway. Unthinkable things probably... I would tho.

But deep down I'm like that's not real life. It's like a magazine, not real. Okay, sometimes real, but most of the time, no. Filters are miracles. I mean there are a billion apps out there to make you go from Mama June to Charlize. Posting a photo on a Sunday afternoon taken 3 months ago and captioning it with some sort of philosophical poem. Faking happy is probably the easiest thing to do online. Not saying that's my problem, but being envious of someone else's "happiness" is a problem. 

And I wouldn't say it affects my parenting, but it affects me as a parent. I'm trying to be like a mom online that I don't know. I literally do not know this woman. I mean her bio says she loves coffee and Jesus.. but is it thee Jesus or is that her lover? I don't know. 

But it's tough being a mom, sometimes! I let my mind wander at night and I'm like damn! i've kept two kids alive for a combined 7.5 years. i'm awesome. even if i didn't look awesome doing it. And in the same thought I'm also remembering that the little one fell and hit her face probably 4 times that day and did she eat any of her dinner? I saw her chomping on a bag of chips, that counts I guess. Her older brother asked me, more than once, if licking ice on the ground outside is okay.. did I ever answer him? He probably licked the ice. Gross! Did they brush their teeth? One of them did for sure. I think. Then I remember that the baby ate my chapstick, too. Fuh okay so ailve-ish. I'll meet you in the middle.

Don't judge me with your judgey reading eyes.. your kid eats chapstick just like mine.

I read blog posts sometimes about how bad it is to let your child be "addicted" to technology. Although I do agree with this, sometimes it's not worth the fight. My littlest, she's the devil in the flesh, for real. So when she finds something she likes, I just let it happen and slooowly walk away. And if that's watching the Disney Junior app on her Kindle for 1, 2, 3 hours... I don't care. But the fact I'm second guessing myself because of this random mom who said she doesn't let her kids do it, is a little crazy. 

Like sometimes I'm super productive at stimulating their mind with nature & fresh air. Going for long walks and teaching them why the sky is blue or the grass green. Googling all of their questions like "why do we fart?" instead of pretending I can't hear them. The good mom stuff. 

And I feel like a queen on those days, like @happierandbetterparentthanyouhaha should see me now! (disclosure: not a real account. i looked) But the days I'm rebooting and cleaning up dried spaghetti off the walls from yesterday's tantrum, I have to remind myself.. this is normal. This is being a mom. Not posting pictures online about how happy I am or how perfect my kids are and how blessed I am to have them in my life.. that's rubbish. I'm on my hands and knees scrubbing dried sauce off the baseboards, I'm far from blessed. *sarcasm*

I feel like everyday we're doing our best as moms. We all beat to a different drum, and operate at different speeds. What works for some moms, might not work for you. Their kids might love mashed up banana and spinach smoothies while your kids love Doritos and dirt. It's okay. Be you. Parent your way. Your kids love you no matter how shabby your brows look. 

Not giving a flying eff whether they wear their pj's all day or not happens. Life happens. Mistakes happen. What's important is not to get caught up in trying to be someone else from social media. Don't be her. Be you. Because I've realized, they are the weird ones with perfect white carpet, clean windows, and kids that never have chocolate on their shirts. Not us. 

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this piece was featured on Hunt|West