my pet peeves... i've got lots. like categories with sub-categories and those all have bullet points.
and since tyler is sick of hearing me complain, i came here. YOU are welcome. shall we?
what is my biggest driving pet peeve?
GET. OFF. MY. ASS. i can't even deal! yes i have an issue with going more than 7 miles over the speed limit, but i'm a freakin' mom. and my baby is in the backseat so sue me kay? i can't tell you how many times i've had to have a higher power stop me from slamming on my brakes so that jackass behind me won't plow into the back of me because he doesn't have enough reaction distance. i think it's a necessary lesson, my husband just thinks i need to drive faster. pff you tryin' me right now. you tryin' me!
others include:
- texting while driving - i hope you wreck & lose your
lifephone. - the one lane construction speeding up & weaseling your way in thing. eff you ya emm effer.
- thanks for the blinker you inconsiderate dick.
- if your bass is so high causing eminem to sing static through your speakers, roll your damn window up.
- STOP PUTTING GIANT EYELASHES ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS. it's tacky. it's ugly. it's disgusting.
what is my biggest shopping pet peeve?
when the person working follows you around like a puppy dog telling you what you'll love. you choosing to work a job based off commission is not my problem. GET AWAY FROM ME. i will not buy anything from you. ever.
ps. i hated everything you showed me.
pps. i hate you. and you need a haircut.
what is my biggest general pet peeve?
oh my gaaaaawd. where do i start? which one do i choose?! how much time you guys got?
okay my biggest pet peeve is when someone makes random noises with their mouth. like smacking noises. even teeny tiny ones. i can still hear it. like the sound of someone eating a banana or biting their nails or sloppy kissers... you know that noise? i'm getting upset talking about it. it gives me forest whitaker eye like hard. it gives me irrational rage that i'm afraid one day someone is going to pay for it. this rage starts from the tip of my toes & works it's way up.
tyler has this weird habit of playing with his beard hair & putting it in his mouth. i know. and while we're driving i can hear his mouth open & close and it makes the tiniest smacking noise and it makes me want to kill myself. i take a deep breath, whisper a prayer to tom brady & calmly ask him to PLEASE STOP THAT NOW OR I'M GOING TO CRASH THE CAR.
what is my most irrational fear?
i fear that i'm going to die of a random heart attack due to chest cancer. you guys.. sometimes i become crippled with anxiety. it's real, it fucking sucks, and i hate it. i never know when the next wave will be, sometimes it's spread out in days, sometimes months. and do you know what happens? all i do is stress about my "chest cancer" and wonder when my heart is going to stop beating because that's a real thing. saying it now sounds crazy. but in like 2 days i'll be crying in a corner texting my sister asking her if she'll promise to make sure and have all britney songs in my 'life video' and to throw my uggs in my casket before they put me in the ground. like it's so dumb. and it pisses me off that i have to deal with it.
*deep breath* *letting it out*
well this was fun, huh! i love having an excuse to complain.
how about you? what pisses you off more than anything? spill it.
i hate government workers who want me to fill out stupid stuff, just so i can get $90. Why do i need a notarized statement telling YOU I AM ALLOWED TO GET THE MONEY AND WILL DISTRIBUTE IT APPORPRIATELY! IM THE TRUSTEE OF THE ESTATE!!!!!! THAT'S WHAT THE JUDGE HAS DECREED! I owe a fiduciary responsibility to my parents' estate, and a notarized statement is not necessary. seriously. keep the damn money. whew. i feel better.
ReplyDeleteHahaha mom! Calm down. Don't kill anybody...
Deleteum people who buy junk food with EBT card!!! Also the crappy drivers out here in the Basin!!
ReplyDeleteOh my YES! How frustrating is that!!! Or they buy all their food with EBT and then make a separate purchase for their cigs. GA-ROSS. Terrible people abusing the system. That's why shit isn't working anymore..
DeleteBahahahahahahahaa! I seriously think we may be sister's from otha misters.
ReplyDeleteWomen who put makeup on in the car!! I hope they poke their eyes out. The shopping ones you mention piss me off too.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, my husband hates the eating noises, too. So I KNOW, when I grab peanuts or a bowl of cereal, something that will definitely make noise, he's going to either leave the room or really try to focus on something else so he doesn't have to hear it. I'm a walker (not a zombie, but like, we don't have a car), and the blinker thing drives me crazy. If we're at a 4-way stop, and a car doesn't put on a blinker, and it means I could have kept walking, it makes me so mad. They don't think about us pedestrians at all (in DC, a lot of us are pedestrians).
ReplyDeleteAnd texting and driving is ILLEGAL most places! It makes me so mad. I've pretended to take a picture of someone's license plate if I see them texting and driving, as if that's going to do anything. I mean, what am I going to do? Send the plate number to the cops, and they're going to hunt them down? No. The person would just stop texting if they saw a cop. But it's so dangerous!
I have two big pet peeves, both related to texting or talking on a cell phone. If you're checking out somewhere, you gotta get off your phone. It's really rude to the person at the register, and it distracts you. I mean, at least be courteous enough to look them in the eye and smile. I just tell the person on the phone, "Hey I'm putting the phone down so I can check out." It takes like 30 seconds, you know? And the other thing, I see it all the time now with kids about 10 years my junior: they ALWAYS have an ear bud in one ear while they're hanging out or talking to someone. Like, two girls are chatting, walking down the sidewalk, and they both have music going in the other ear. That drives me nuts.
As always, I've written a novel. Pet peeves are fun, though. Who doesn't like to gripe from time to time? :)
OMG the car eyelashes are the WORST. You maybe get a pass if you are a 16 year old girl and this is your first car. MAYBE. Everyone else should know better! I love this idea for a post!
ReplyDeleteFacebook complainers. Its seriously ok to have a bad day. I get it, but if you have a bad day ALL THE TIME<< its you.
ReplyDelete