sh*t my kids says

When Dreydan says something that makes me laugh out loud or leaves me staring at the wall thinking WTF just happened?,
I have to write it down. I was looking through that notebook &

these were some of my favorites.

//He ripped off a leg of one of his toys & came running to me...
 Mooom! Look at this.. oh no. Will you fix it?
Sure! Lemme see it.
Well maybe, actually...maybe I should find someone else.

//I asked him once to sing me a song.
Sing? That's so stupid. Maybe you should ask dad.
and then he leaves the room.

//Heard him having some chats with his toys in his room so I walk in and say
Hey dude!Whatcha playin'?
Turns to me with thee most serious face I've ever seen and says 
You should probably go.
And continued to stare at me until I left... What. The. Fuh?

//Going over to his cousin Konnor's house.
Mom, are you SURE we're going to Konnor's? Don't take me to the store. I don't want to shop.

//I sneeze.
Well God bless you, mom! Now say thank you....

//When we argue about anything, he points his finger and says

You stop it right now mom! You don't say that! Get out of my room!

even when we're not in his room.

//Recently he's discovered his balls & asked Tyler what they were. So everyday it's...

Mom check it out, these are my balls! Look mom! Do you have balls too? This is MY ball sack.
THANKS TY. 

//When we're at the park, he attacks random kids with kindness. And it's weird.

Hey you are my friend. My best friend. Are you my brother? Wanna play with me brother?

Dreydan, he's not your brother, stop bein' a creep.

Yes he is my brother! And I'm a dinosaur! He's my baby dinosaur!

//In the car on the way home. He asked for a cupcake & I told him we were going to have dinner first.

We're having donuts for dinner! And after I eat aallll of my donuts, I get cupcakes! OKAY?

//Walks into my room one day and says
Hey mom? Do you have to go potty?
Nope I don't...
Okay well you better let me know when you have to pee!
Walks out.

//While reading to him his fave dinosaur book
What is this dinosaur called?
Oviraptor
I think you're wrong.
The book says it's an Oviraptor.
.....I think this book is wrong.

seriously i could go on & on & on....